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We've been pretty excited for the RoboCop remake, especially with the recent casting of Michael K. Williams, who joins the already stellar cast of Gary Oldman, Samuel L. Jackson, Hugh Laurie, and Jackie Earle Haley. But an early leaked script of the Jose Padilha movie has cast a very dark shadow over this production. Drew McWeeny of Hitfix tried to get through the script allegedly penned by Joshua Zetumer and Nick Schenk.
He was not impressed and took to Twitter to release his anger over turning RoboCop into "cop on steroids painted metallic blue." Oof. Here are a few of McWeeny's best online meltdowns over what he read:
I tried to read the "Robocop" remake, but 20 pages in my nose started bleeding and I forgot my name. #nobueno #reallynobueno
I'll share this one detail. In the film, when Murphy is turned into Robocop 1.0, it's described "a high-tech version of the '80s suit."
Then they show a focus group scene where criminals laugh at the design. "He looks like a toy from the '80s!"
So they redesign him to look "meaner" as Robocop 2.0, who passes focus group approval.
So they not only make sure to include the original design, they also point out it's dated and stupid. *facepalm*
Hold onto your sides for more hilarious "Robocop" details. They outsource his construction to China. #seriously
And we meet the ED-209s in the field in Iran, where they're used to subdue suicide bombers. #ineedallthedrinksnow
Ahhh… now they just dropped Robocop 3.0 onto an Al Queda training camp to see what he does.
By page 54, they are already onto Robocop 4.0, who looks like a "cop on steroids painted metallic blue."
Oh, god… oh dear god… Robocop is a Transformer. He goes from "social mode" to "combat mode" and back. Full transformation.
Someone shows Pope, head of the OCP project, some mock-ups for Robocop action figures. "Are you kidding? I wouldn't buy that for a dollar!"
I'll say this: once the script stops all the winky-winky crap and just starts telling a story, it's not terrible. But it's way too late.
So that sounds horrific. True, plenty of early scripts read like garbage and who knows what the end product will look like. But a Transformer RoboCop? Bitches leave!
