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I cant seem to understand
what it takes to become a man
its so hard, i need a plan
but the harder i try, the more i can't
get a grip of reality,
when my friends all mad at me,
God help cure my insanity
why the girl i like dont like me,
why does my ex think she has my baby
im 15 and soon to be apart of a new family
the girl happens to be a close friend
she doesnt want that relationship to end,
my friends wanna stab me in the back
3 of my homies this year been clapped,
and 2 been attacked, i cant handle it
i cant re-act, i pack and unpack
please god im asking for a sign something
dont leave me down here struggling
parents are giving up on there oldest youngin'
they dont trust me anymore and i hate it
their feeling eat at me and i cant contain it
i drank myself near death,
my homie saved me before i had my last breath
i moved to harder drugs, i hallucinate
why cant i get over it, i wanna re-create
all the situations i fucked up in life
the shit that cuases so much strife
I start to cry myself to sleep
my enemies wanna see me deceased
and everyone else cant give me peace
why does everything happen to me
massive amounts of shit to drink
the money spent of all kinds of trees
im so fucking depressed
i feel this huge pain in my chest
and this weight when i try to rest,
im having thoughts about suicide
but even then i feel i wont be able to hide
it's like i have have no escape
and all im left with inside is hate
i cant image my mindstates shape
my soul and being is shattered
all my thoughts is scattered
please im making a reach for help
the only 1 that can help me i know is myself
but its so hard that i dont know what to do
i hope no one on earth is going thru the shit I go through
cuase we feel every pain
and its worse then a game
and i know it gets worse with age
my life has come to a constant suffering
im living and breathing but feeling nothing
everytime i hold the bottle im clutching
i cant control anything, im so hopeless
inside it hurts so much that i wrote this
cuase it so true
nothing i can do
alone anyway, hope no one make my mistake
the love you get dont misplace or erase
cuase that feeling of friendship and trust is so fragile
but for me everytime i see a friend im so agile
im out of contact with my emotions they run wild
know everything im saying is true
and sorry im placing it on all you
joseph my brother this means you to
but dude, please help keep it true
you always been a true boy
and havent treated me like a toy
my bad if i ever get outta hand
this fucking shit i keep inside i cant stand
now wether you love or hate it
im still thinking and about to debate
should i end it now, or sit and wait
for something to re-create or get great
but i think im getting my hopes high
and i dont think ill be satisfied
i walk around just waiting for my life to end
although i try to have a good time and just pretend
i think ill give it up and face reality
all these sins are comming back to me
and it like a rage of sadness attacking me
but im gonna put my faith in miracle
cuase im not ready to go
and to everyone like me, lifes a bitch but you aint alone
remeber im stuck in this never ending hole
looking for that light in the tunnel
which never seems to come, its horrible
but i wanna reach out to everyone
because i wanna be understood
incase i die at 15 wether in the hood,
or because im not living any good,
or because an angel said i could
but most likey cuase im feeling this alone, during my childhood
if you dont agree with what say or believe it, thats ok dont but dont deny it or hate or talk shit, cuase its all real and im being true here i wanna get my feelings out after a really bad night where i felt so close to death that i was talking to angels, i opened my eyes 1 of my friends was yelling the other balling her eyes out and just i feel like its hard to put things into perspective right now. Respect.
what it takes to become a man
its so hard, i need a plan
but the harder i try, the more i can't
get a grip of reality,
when my friends all mad at me,
God help cure my insanity
why the girl i like dont like me,
why does my ex think she has my baby
im 15 and soon to be apart of a new family
the girl happens to be a close friend
she doesnt want that relationship to end,
my friends wanna stab me in the back
3 of my homies this year been clapped,
and 2 been attacked, i cant handle it
i cant re-act, i pack and unpack
please god im asking for a sign something
dont leave me down here struggling
parents are giving up on there oldest youngin'
they dont trust me anymore and i hate it
their feeling eat at me and i cant contain it
i drank myself near death,
my homie saved me before i had my last breath
i moved to harder drugs, i hallucinate
why cant i get over it, i wanna re-create
all the situations i fucked up in life
the shit that cuases so much strife
I start to cry myself to sleep
my enemies wanna see me deceased
and everyone else cant give me peace
why does everything happen to me
massive amounts of shit to drink
the money spent of all kinds of trees
im so fucking depressed
i feel this huge pain in my chest
and this weight when i try to rest,
im having thoughts about suicide
but even then i feel i wont be able to hide
it's like i have have no escape
and all im left with inside is hate
i cant image my mindstates shape
my soul and being is shattered
all my thoughts is scattered
please im making a reach for help
the only 1 that can help me i know is myself
but its so hard that i dont know what to do
i hope no one on earth is going thru the shit I go through
cuase we feel every pain
and its worse then a game
and i know it gets worse with age
my life has come to a constant suffering
im living and breathing but feeling nothing
everytime i hold the bottle im clutching
i cant control anything, im so hopeless
inside it hurts so much that i wrote this
cuase it so true
nothing i can do
alone anyway, hope no one make my mistake
the love you get dont misplace or erase
cuase that feeling of friendship and trust is so fragile
but for me everytime i see a friend im so agile
im out of contact with my emotions they run wild
know everything im saying is true
and sorry im placing it on all you
joseph my brother this means you to
but dude, please help keep it true
you always been a true boy
and havent treated me like a toy
my bad if i ever get outta hand
this fucking shit i keep inside i cant stand
now wether you love or hate it
im still thinking and about to debate
should i end it now, or sit and wait
for something to re-create or get great
but i think im getting my hopes high
and i dont think ill be satisfied
i walk around just waiting for my life to end
although i try to have a good time and just pretend
i think ill give it up and face reality
all these sins are comming back to me
and it like a rage of sadness attacking me
but im gonna put my faith in miracle
cuase im not ready to go
and to everyone like me, lifes a bitch but you aint alone
remeber im stuck in this never ending hole
looking for that light in the tunnel
which never seems to come, its horrible
but i wanna reach out to everyone
because i wanna be understood
incase i die at 15 wether in the hood,
or because im not living any good,
or because an angel said i could
but most likey cuase im feeling this alone, during my childhood
if you dont agree with what say or believe it, thats ok dont but dont deny it or hate or talk shit, cuase its all real and im being true here i wanna get my feelings out after a really bad night where i felt so close to death that i was talking to angels, i opened my eyes 1 of my friends was yelling the other balling her eyes out and just i feel like its hard to put things into perspective right now. Respect.
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