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Short Drop #2 (Please Feedback)

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  • Short Drop #2 (Please Feedback)

    Is It The Winter-Blues Or Is It The Truth?
    That Makes Me Feel Like I´m A Wise Fool?
    Heart Fulla Terror Mind Fulla Stress
    Still Searchin For God, Who Will Stop The Mess?
    All By Myself Fuck My Homies Nobody Knows Me
    Even If I Hang Out I´m Still Porr N Lonely
    Put My Faith In God, Trust Nobody But Moms
    I Wonder If Ther´s Cure For Mental Scars
    Fuck Fancy Cars & Your Material Aspects
    Even Your Freinds Stab You From The Back
    It´s Lack Of Tranquility We All Suffer From
    When It´s Time To Cry, Who Can I Call?
    People Will Be WIth You Only If You Ball
    Nobody Cares For Your Pain & Depression
    They Betray YOu Without Exception
    Where´s The Light?Where Can I Find Peace?
    Will I Ever Be Happy Before I´m Deceased?
    Will I Ever Have A Wife Or Even Kids?
    So Many Questions, Dunno Where To Start
    Light A Candle, Always In The Dark
    Pray For Better Days, Tryin To Live My Life The Right Way
    I Know Crime Don´t Pay So I Hope To Survive The Other Day
    1 Luv
    Love Peace & Harmony

  • #2
    I'm prolly not the right guy to give feedback on lyrics of any kind

    I like the 2nd half starting form tranquility alot.

    First is good too, though first two bars u could remove or remake, feels like alot of poems start like that so for me it sounds boring.
    porr= poor

    Hope it can somewhat help you.

    Edit: Better flow in the second part then the 1st.
    Last edited by Yakidafi; 01-05-2013, 01:14 PM.
    "Yo Krazy B". "You know what, When u said that last time, I was kind of trippin right, but now yo right, I am crazy, but you know waht else, I don't give a fuck" (Above the rim)
    "A coward dies a thousand deaths, A soldiers dies but once." (Tupac)
    "I am the punishment of god. If you had not comitted great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you." (Ghengis Khan)

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    • #3
      Originally posted by Yakidafi View Post
      I'm prolly not the right guy to give feedback on lyrics of any kind

      I like the 2nd half starting form tranquility alot.

      First is good too, though first two bars u could remove or remake, feels like alot of poems start like that so for me it sounds boring.
      porr= poor

      Hope it can somewhat help you.

      Edit: Better flow in the second part then the 1st.
      thanks a lot, im working on it, please comment my other drops too (one more is in the making right now)

      im trying to make it serious type of hobby, i try to improve myself day by day so any kinda feedback is a good thing.
      Love Peace & Harmony

      Comment

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