Yall Don't Really Know

[K.Pin]

Written to the same beat and dmx song but may be my first single.Here's the first verse

Verse 1:

Check it
Peep my method
Not full time thug but you can check my record
Album that is
On the beats Ima wreck it
I flex my lyrics like no one's ever seen
My pencil and pad no one's gettin between
Cuz the game is gettin weak and so damn salty
How the fuck did we let it get so faulty
Runnin ya mouth on ya singles about candy
Grow up and drop that shit and you'll be real real handy
Niggaz sellin their soul and I say fuck em
Its natural selection
Saves me time,and I don't gotta buck buck buck em
Drop the mic
Take one for the team
And the whole world could give a fuck less about your gangsta lean
Dances and prances
stances and advances
I don't understand it
Shit like this don't deserve no chances nigga
Your time is over
Move back to the hood
I'm here with a hunger for treal shit for fuckin good

Chorus
Ya’ll don’t really know,
They don’t really know,
Ya’ll don’t really know,
They don’t really know,
Ya’ll don’t really know,
They don’t really know

Verse 2:Coming Soon

---------------

Some shit I wrote high off oxys Not lyrical but I still wanna record it soon.I got my mic in the mail but i need a certain adapter to connect it to my computer.If anyone knows how to get a xlr cable connected to a pc's line in,in the cheapest way possible Id appreciate it.

[Cesare Borgia]

Here is my review, for better or worse don't take it personal.

Check it
Peep my method
Not full time thug but you can check my record
Album that is
On the beats Ima wreck it

I would start out with something much more eye catching in order to keep people reading or listening, the opening lines seem like filler right from the jump off.

I flex my lyrics like no one's ever seen
My pencil and pad no one's gettin between

I always felt like when people write a line like the "No one's getting between" one where it's flipped around the way it is it's a cop out and comes off like you can't find a word to rhyme with the previous line, it just sounds too odd to say "My pencil and pad no one's gettin between" rather than saying "No one's getting between my pencil and pad"

Cuz the game is gettin weak and so damn salty
How the fuck did we let it get so faulty
Runnin ya mouth on ya singles about candy
Grow up and drop that shit and you'll be real real handy

The message is right but the delivery is off because of the choice of words and structure, i also believe that in order to educate your fellow rappers you must be on a higher lyrical level otherwise it comes off as arrogant and sounds as if you think you are more than what you are.

Niggaz sellin their soul and I say fuck em
Its natural selection
Saves me time,and I don't gotta buck buck buck em
Drop the mic

Keep the Natural selection part but rework the rest, it's all filler material.

Take one for the team
And the whole world could give a fuck less about your gangsta lean
Dances and prances
stances and advances
I don't understand it
Shit like this don't deserve no chances nigga
Your time is over
Move back to the hood
I'm here with a hunger for treal shit for fuckin good

I have no clue what you were saying with the rest of the rhyme, you need to do some major tweaking to make sure your message is clear and coherent, all in all this piece is pretty weak and forgettable, the only multi i seen was:

"Dances and prances
stances and advances"

It does not need a million mutis to be good but you should at least try to blend each line together with a rhyming word like this:

As death overshadows his last breath he begins to know
That tomorrow it’s over and he can rest in repose
Dressed in his best clothes he awaits, although slightly depressed
Spent his life obsessed with fate like a man that’s possessed
The greatest debate, pack weight and put food on your kid’s plate
Or live your life straight with worthy traits in a hungry state

See what i mean? it makes it flow together more seamlessly and makes it MUCH easier to record when you get around to it.